Counselling Changes Your Perspective

Overcome Your Self-Doubt & FEAR. Explore Your Experience in Confidence.

Hello, my name is David Pender, and I am a qualified BACP Counsellor. With a graduate degree in integrative counselling and a coaching diploma, I specialize in working with adult men and women through times of stress, worry, and anxiety to support their journey towards mental wellness, personal growth, and fulfilling purpose. My mission is to help you discover your true purpose and resolve any conflict issues you may be facing. I offer my services in London and Maidenhead, South East Berkshire, covering Windsor, Bracknell, Reading, and Slough. Together, we can navigate a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Recovery from all aspects of anxiety becomes a personal choice, but first, we must process our feelings in our search for meaning. The move is conscious, but we all need empathic encouragement, sustainability, and support in personal development before reaching the need to self-sabotage in frustration. 

You are the only one with help who can change by reaching and maintaining small changes. Regularly celebrate the small changes. It is not about all-or-nothing thinking, and it is essential not to get caught up in the instant perfection trap. Procrastination will tell you it's not the right time, and one day when life is tidy, you will make a start. Life does not become tidy unless we make ourselves the architects of our lives. 

Anxiety, stress, and self-doubt are natural responses to life's challenges. You're not alone in this. In a world that can be manipulative and leave you doubting yourself, these feelings often stem from past experiences. Do you still fear rejection or doubt your abilities when faced with a challenge? Remember, seeking professional guidance and support is not a sign of weakness but a step towards understanding and overcoming your struggles.

Men's Mental Health

Men's mental health is a multifaceted and often under-discussed topic that deserves much more attention and understanding. The complexities arise from a blend of societal expectations, cultural norms, and internal struggles that many men face. Traditionally, men have been expected to embody strength, stoicism, and emotional restraint. While these attributes can be admirable, they can also create barriers to expressing vulnerability and seeking help when needed.

I’ve worked with people who have felt stuck or overwhelmed, believing they should be able to manage everything themselves. Over time, they discovered that asking for help didn’t mean they were failing; it was a relief, a sign that they were ready to make positive changes.

Having a male counsellor in mental health counselling can be crucial for many men. It often helps create a sense of relatability and understanding, as male counsellors can share similar experiences and societal pressures. This common ground can make it easier for men to open up about sensitive issues, fostering a trusting and comfortable therapeutic environment. Additionally, male counsellors can serve as positive mentors, demonstrating that seeking help and discussing emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness. This dynamic can be particularly important in breaking down the stigmas surrounding men's mental health and encouraging more men to seek the support they need.

Counselling is a powerful tool that often helps us reconnect with ourselves. When life gets overwhelming, we can lose sight of what we truly need or feel. Through counselling, people find the space to pause, tune in, and rediscover their inner strength. This self-connection builds resilience, offering clarity and confidence to face life’s challenges.

 Various factors can trigger feelings of anxiety, including environmental stressors, personal relationships, work demands, financial pressures, and significant life changes. Additionally, internal factors such as negative self-talk, perfectionism, and unresolved past traumas can exacerbate stress and anxiety. By identifying these contributing elements, we can develop strategies to address them and improve your mental well-being.

One of the significant challenges is the stigma surrounding mental health. Many men may feel pressured to uphold a façade of toughness, fearing that admitting to mental health struggles could be seen as a sign of weakness. This stigma can lead to feelings of isolation and make it difficult for men to reach out for support.

Additionally, the way mental health issues manifest in men can differ from women. For example, men might express depression or anxiety through anger, irritability, or risky behaviours rather than sadness or withdrawal. These differences can sometimes lead to a lack of recognition of the underlying issues.

Understanding and addressing men's mental health requires a holistic approach. It involves breaking the stigma, promoting open conversations, and providing accessible and tailored resources for men's unique experiences. Encouraging men to embrace their emotional well-being as a key aspect of their overall health is crucial.

In recent years, there has been a growing movement towards better awareness and support for men's mental health. Recognizing and embracing the complexity of men's mental health is essential for creating a supportive environment where men can thrive emotionally and psychologically.

The way men are expected to hold life together under pressure can result in behaviours used to mask pain and a reluctance to allow anyone in. It can be a lot easier to confide in a trusted fellow male.

Human connection has been the bedrock of our growth and development since the cradle of civilisation. Through our interactions, relationships, and communal bonds, we have built societies, nurtured cultures, and created legacies that span generations. These connections foster mutual understanding, support, and cooperation, allowing us to thrive individually and collectively. The essence of being human is deeply rooted in our ability to connect, communicate, and share our lives with others, making human connection an invaluable part of our existence and progress.

Men's mental health is a critical issue that deserves attention and support. Men must understand they don't have to face their struggles in isolation. Seeking help and talking about mental health challenges is not a sign of weakness but a step toward healing and strength. Building a trusted friends, family, or professional support network can make a significant difference. Remember, opening up and sharing your experiences can lead to better mental health outcomes and foster a sense of connection and resilience. Let's break the stigma and encourage men to prioritise their mental well-being. Your interest will be met with an empathic and congruent response.

Relationships

Relationships are intricate, shaped by a blend of power dynamics and attachment styles. Power struggles can emerge from the need for control or autonomy, often manifesting in decision-making or emotional interactions. Simultaneously, the attachment styles we formed in childhood profoundly influence how we connect with others. Secure attachment fosters trust and balance, while anxious or avoidant styles can create tension and misunderstanding. Understanding these factors can help you navigate relationships with greater empathy and intentionality, fostering healthier and more fulfilling connections.

Life unfolds in various stages, and the people we interact with, whether in our personal lives or careers, significantly shape our emotions and experiences. Effective communication skills can be crucial in navigating challenging relationships and toxic work environments. These tools help us express ourselves clearly and enable us to understand and empathise with others, fostering healthier and more supportive connections.

Personal Development

Self-connection and overcoming limiting beliefs are pivotal to personal growth. Focusing on our strengths can reframe our self-perception and build a more empowering narrative. This strengths-based approach highlights our capabilities and achievements, fostering a positive mindset. It encourages us to leverage our unique talents and resources, turning challenges into opportunities for growth. By nurturing self-awareness and embracing our strengths, you can break free from what's holding you back and unlock your full potential.

“From Chaos to Calm: Your Journey Through Anxiety Treatment”

Anxiety Counselling Support is an online haven for those suffering from Anxiety, Panic Attacks, GAD, Social Anxiety, Perfectionism, PTSD and other symptoms. Understanding the daily struggle and need for empowerment, I provide personalized strategies to aid your healing process. Employing methods of CBT & DBT to equip and reregulate both body and mind. Anxiety & Stress Counselling UK Based in London & Maidenhead South East Berkshire, I offer therapy online across the UK from the comfort of your home. Locally, a limited number of face-to-face appointments are available weekly. With a developed knowledge of anxiety and trauma, I have supported individuals and corporations in London since 2015.

As an approved Registered Psychotherapist and provider of counselling and psychotherapy services registered with the BACP, My activities are monitored within the specified ethical framework. Having personally overcome trauma and anxiety in earlier life, I am capable of understanding and empathizing with those who are battling intrusive thoughts and negative thinking patterns. It is always a privilege to assist in the transformation from doubt to authentic, genuine empowerment. Additionally, I regularly contribute to the Counselling Directory, a leading publication.

It is an indisputable fact that suppressing emotions can significantly physically impact the body. Although it might not cause any immediate problems, the continuous repression of emotions can have severe and lasting psychological effects. Anyone who has ever experienced a deep tissue massage can attest to how stress can take a toll on the body by causing the muscles to tighten. In the same vein, suppressed emotions can remain in the body and lead to a range of detrimental health outcomes, such as anxiety, depression, and other stress-related illnesses. The ramifications of suppressing emotions can even lead to substance and alcohol abuse, making it clear that it is not a habit that should be taken lightly.

Anxiety & Stress Counselling UK understands we all start from doubt and fear whenever we ask what something will be like due to uncertainty. Fear can hinder growth and development if allowed to fester. Anxiety can manifest both cognitively and physically, leading to behavioural changes. It triggers the fight-or-flight response in the brain; frequent or inappropriate triggers can lead to chronic stress and anxiety disorders. Then comes the matter of avoidance. Developing and maintaining the healing mindset of peace and tranquillity can boost your mental health during recovery. Life is an ever-evolving process of becoming, but becoming what precisely the answer is down to you, your autonomy and the available help at hand.

Breaking the anxiety loop requires overcoming perceived fear, recognising triggers, understanding patterns, and learning new coping mechanisms. We are all different and require individual solutions, which can be found in one-to-one counselling. I work in collaboration with you on tailored solutions to meet your needs. A fully comprehensive description of anxiety treatment can be seen in the About Link.

So, you’ve encountered obstacles while pursuing a goal, such as a heavy workload, intensive study, disappointment in a relationship or other life issues, which have led to frustration and uncertainty in your life. It’s completely normal to feel stalled in such situations. However, the desire to ‘pick up the pieces’ is a positive sign of resilience. Remember, seeking support when you need it is okay. Finding solace in activities that bring you joy and caring for your mental well-being is crucial. One thing is sure: we show up from our current lived experiences.

How Can Anxiety & Stress Counselling Help You?

When we feel anxious, we tend to worry about things spiralling out of control and bad things happening. We often have a lot of "what if" thoughts running through our minds. We may avoid certain situations or activities altogether or strive for perfection. Unfortunately, these avoidance and perfectionist tendencies often backfire, leading to even more anxiety. We may procrastinate, worry excessively, or even withdraw from social situations. Anxiety disorders can be caused by a variety of factors, with several elements often combined to contribute to their growth. Some of the common causes of anxiety are past experiences or childhood traumas such as physical or emotional abuse, neglect, losing a parent, or being bullied.

Additionally, current life situations such as exhaustion, financial difficulties, or significant life changes can lead to increased anxiety levels. Physical and mental health problems, including chronic illness or depression, can also contribute to anxiety. Genetics may play a role in an individual's susceptibility to anxiety, with family history being a significant risk factor for developing an anxiety disorder. Finally, the use of drugs, alcohol, or caffeine can cause or worsen anxiety symptoms.

How We Can Work Together

Anxiety & Stress Counselling UK can help you meet and exceed your professional, academic, and personal goals. These can include excelling in the workplace, becoming happy and fulfilled at home, exploring your potential, and achieving your ambitions. I will give you the tools to face difficult situations and push past emotional barriers confidently; together, let’s unlock your power to enable you to help yourself create a bright future.

How often have you asked the big questions such as, Am I enough? Have you ever asked yourself who you are? Who are you in terms of your core principles and values? If not, you likely have developed a Saboteur in your struggle who deceives and manipulates your confidence levels. Self-sabotage is a term used to describe behaviours or thought patterns that hold you back from achieving your goals. The saboteur promotes self-limiting thoughts about never being good enough to secure your goals when you are at a low point and keeps holding you back in fear of failure. We create beliefs about ourselves, sometimes installed by chief care providers or teachers in the developmental years. A message registers that we are low achievers, and settling for that is just how it is until we begin questioning it. However, within the developmental years at the other end of the scale, If you were told you were no good, work harder and get it right, it may have left traces of perfectionism to deal with.

Fear only ever lives in a future context. When facing uncertainty, there is a void, and anxiety hates uncertainty. This desire for control over fear can cause problems in the internal dialogue with avoidance tactics. Once anxiety becomes a disorder, it can interfere with your daily function and quality of life. Our experience in life is created through the stories we tell ourselves: feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, betrayed, hurt… or whatever our big character story says. If you want a different future, you must change the story from being stuck to overcoming. The story that got you here can’t take you to a different future. If you continue with the same stories, you will get more of the same experience. In learning to voice your worries, you no longer internalise anxiety or stress but feel empowered to explore positive options to begin realigning peace and positivity to your life. When supported, you stop looking for evidence to support your self-doubt and grow confident, ready to embrace the world no longer dependent on procrastination tactics. Amid the chaos, opportunities can be found.

The good news is that with the right approach and treatment, it is possible to address anxiety and other mental health issues to regain control over your life. The only approval you need is yours, so pull back from seeking that external validation through people-pleasing to your cost. You are worth so much more.

What lack of skills or knowledge is keeping you feeling unsafe?

Anxiety & Stress Counselling Support

About My Company

At the heart of My practice is a commitment to providing evidence-based health information and services that empower individuals to make informed decisions. I am a dedicated healthcare professional passionate about advancing wellness through personalized and compassionate care.

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Dealing with anxiety, relationship issues, or trauma

can present formidable challenges.

Developing healthy relationships involves setting clear boundaries, understanding our emotions, and expressing our expectations confidently and respectfully. People seeking counselling can develop a better sense of self-worth, overcome negative thoughts, and achieve a positive outlook. By taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions, you can prioritise authenticity and identify your unique strengths, leading to a more fulfilling life. It’s crucial to avoid comparing yourself to others, as doing so can harm and create low self-esteem and mental well-being. Understanding the underlying causes of anxiety and seeking professional help can be beneficial in addressing these issues and promoting well-being. Every decision you make shapes your identity and determines the person you become, so making thoughtful and intentional choices that align with your values and goals is essential. You can achieve this with Anxiety & Stress Counselling UK.

Do You Feel Overwhelmed?

Our childhood experiences play a crucial role in shaping our lives as adults. Adverse experiences during childhood can lead to various emotional and psychological problems, such as anger, anxiety, and hyper-alertness. Childhood trauma can be a challenging experience to overcome. However, it's important to remember that an individual can learn to heal and thrive despite their past with support and resilience. Acknowledging trauma's impact and seeking the right resources makes it possible to move forward and build a fulfilling life.

These experiences get deeply ingrained in our subconscious and can trigger delayed responses like fatigue, anxiety, depression, and emotional avoidance. However, it's essential to know that recovery is possible through learning and personal development. If you have tried to address these issues without success, there is still hope for you. By committing to these challenges in collaboration, you can unlock your true potential with Anxiety & Stress Counselling UK so you become the person you were always meant to be, the person you want to be.

Are You A 3 am Worrier?

Do you often wake up in the middle of the night feeling anxious and overwhelmed at around 3 am? Knowing that our body clock is designed to perform physical and emotional recovery during this time is essential. Unfortunately, we often lack the necessary resources, social connections, and coping skills to address the issues we contemplate during this time. We might believe we are attempting to solve the problem, but we are battling our worries over the feared situation. Merely recognising the problem is not enough; we need the resources to take action and handle it effectively. Regularly seeking the guidance of a professional can assist us in better regulating our body and mind, resulting in improved rest and overall well-being.

Burnout & Fatigue Recovery

Work-related stress, depression or anxiety affects an estimated 822,000 workers in the UK every year.

(according to the Health and Safety Executive)

Experiencing constant exhaustion, burnout, or lack of energy can lead to fatigue, a familiar sensation affecting your work, social life, or ability to do everyday things. There are three types of fatigue: transient, cumulative, and circadian, each brought on by specific factors. Quick fatigue, for instance, is an acute type caused by extreme sleep restriction or extended hours of being awake. Tiredness indicates a temporary depletion of energy that improves with rest or sleep, whereas fatigue is long-lasting mental or physical exhaustion. Drowsiness is a feeling of needing sleep, while fatigue is a lack of energy and motivation.

Experiencing symptoms of fatigue may involve drowsiness, apathy, muscle weakness, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of indifference towards outcomes. Fatigue can be an ordinary and necessary response to physical activity, emotional stress, boredom, or lack of sleep. However, if you experience fatigue accompanied by chest pain, shortness of breath, irregular heart rate, or a sense of imminent passing out, seek help. These may be urgent conditions that require immediate medical attention. Physical fatigue can make it hard to do everyday activities, such as climbing stairs, while mental fatigue can impact concentration and focus. Regain control with Anxiety & Stress Counselling UK.

"Executive stress" is a term used to describe the excessive stress experienced by people in high-level or executive positions within organisations. This type of stress can lead to a severe condition known as Executive Stress Syndrome, which is also referred to as Executive Burnout or Executive Fatigue. This condition is characterised by long-term stress and exhaustion, particularly affecting those in leadership or high-pressure organisational positions.

Individuals suffering from burnout may display chronic fatigue, intense anger towards those making demands on them, self-criticism for putting up with the demands, cynicism, negativity, irritability, and a sense of being overwhelmed. People simply cannot or will not continue doing what they have been doing, as the stress has become too much to bear, which is the defining characteristic of burnout.

Experiencing work-related stress yearly was common for one in seven or 14% of the average workforce. Burnout affects people differently, presenting itself in various forms. Here are three questions to ask yourself if you’re close to burning out.

1. Are you still excited about work? If you haven’t taken action, it’s time to do so.

2. Are you suffering physical pain as a consequence of stress? Carefully listen to your body to work on mitigating the pain.

3. Are you apathetic about life? If you answer yes, take a break to gain perspective and discover value in your life.

Taking a break and assessing your priorities is crucial to better balancing your work and personal life. You need to identify the most important things to you and plan to achieve them. After establishing your priorities, we can develop tools and strategies to help you manage your time effectively.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and experiencing burnout, seeking professional help can be a game-changer. I can help you develop coping mechanisms and strategies to manage stress and anxiety effectively. This process will also help you identify any underlying issues contributing to your burnout.

Please note that our service is provided by private practice and isn’t affiliated with any EA.P programs. However, we can provide proof of payment and BACP registration confirmation if needed.

How does trauma change someone?

Trauma can have a profound impact on our lives, leading to several behavioural health issues, including addiction and chronic stress. Moreover, unaddressed trauma can cause anxiety and depression, making it challenging to lead a healthy and fulfilling life. However, there is hope. By comprehending how anxiety, trauma, and adult mental health are interconnected, we can take steps towards healing and recovery. It is crucial to confront trauma head-on to promote your well-being. Only by comprehending the links between anxiety, trauma, and adult mental health can you aim for a more fulfilling life with a healthier mind and body.

Experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event can lead to the development of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a mental health condition. Some of the common symptoms of PTSD include reliving the traumatic experience, avoiding anything that might trigger memories of it, adverse changes in beliefs and feelings, and feeling constantly on edge and fearful. According to research, PTSD affects approximately 20% of people who experience trauma, and it is estimated that about 50% of people will experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime. It’s important to note that effective treatments are available for PTSD.

What are the links between trauma and anxiety?

At any given time, over 8 million people in the UK suffer from symptoms of anxiety (as per Mental Health UK).

The mental and emotional well-being of an individual can be significantly impacted by trauma. Anxiety may likely manifest in a range of symptoms that can be disadvantageous for the person. These symptoms can include general worries, feeling constantly on edge, insomnia, panic attacks, and even physical symptoms such as sweating and shaking.

Additionally, they may avoid social situations due to social anxiety and isolate themselves from others due to feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and lacking self-confidence. These feelings can be pervasive and may affect your ability to function in day-to-day life.

It is crucial to seek the appropriate help to address the signs of anxiety that you recognise. I can provide the necessary support and treatment to help you manage your symptoms and improve your overall well-being.

What is a manifestation of anxiety?

Anxiety, characterised by feelings of nervousness, constant worry, addiction, and a persistent sense of impending danger or panic, is a common condition. It is important to note that chronic anxiety can cause a shorter lifespan. When stressed or anxious, your body exhibits physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, shortness of breath, shakiness, or stomach pain. Therefore, it’s crucial to address anxiety by seeking professional help or adopting self-care strategies to prevent the adverse effects of this condition.

No one is exempt from anxiety. It can affect anyone, regardless of their background. Anxiety is a natural emotional response to stress or perceived threats and can affect individuals with or without neurodivergent conditions. While anxiety may manifest differently in people with neurodivergent conditions, they face unique challenges in managing and coping with anxiety. These challenges include difficulty recognising and expressing their emotions, navigating social situations, and adapting to changes. With support and the right resources, individuals with neurodivergent conditions can develop effective coping strategies that work for them and lead fulfilling lives.

Progress, Not Perfectionism"

By categorising situations, people, experiences, and choices into polarised boxes of "good" and "bad," all-or-nothing thinking can restrict and cause a decrease in confidence, self-esteem, and resilience. However, recognising this thinking pattern is the first step in overcoming it. Signs of all-or-nothing thinking include avoiding new experiences and seeing small mistakes as total failures. You must recognise grey areas and avoid using absolute terms to shift your thinking. Seek input from others and brainstorm potential solutions to complex situations. Remember that progress, not perfectionism, is critical. Celebrate progress and focus on growth rather than chasing perfection. By adjusting expectations and taking a closer look at ourselves, we can realise that we are doing better than we thought.

Why won't my anxiety go away?

Chronic anxiety can profoundly impact a person’s overall health, as it can weaken the body’s immune system. This can leave the body more vulnerable to common illnesses and infections, making fighting off harmful bacteria and viruses difficult.

If left untreated, anxiety can also lead to other long-term health complications.

Effective treatments for anxiety may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both. People with anxiety can lead healthy and fulfilling lives by receiving the proper treatment and support.

What is the last stage of anxiety recovery?

Consistently building and maintaining healthy habits is essential for achieving good mental health and personal growth. The final stage of this process is the most critical, as it involves long-term maintenance. To succeed, you must focus on this stage and do everything possible to maintain your progress.

You’ll inevitably continue to get the same results by continuously doing the same things. Therefore, making the necessary changes to your routine is essential to avoid stagnation. This means looking for new ways to challenge yourself and seeking new experiences to keep yourself motivated.

One way to achieve this is by setting achievable goals. Before creating a plan to reach them, start by identifying specific goals you want to achieve. This plan should include actionable steps that you can take to achieve your goals. Set realistic timelines for each step and hold yourself accountable to meet them. ( SMART GOALS)

To achieve good mental health and personal growth, it is essential to take care of yourself. This means eating a healthy diet, sleeping well, and exercising regularly. Remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for your well-being.

In conclusion, consistency in your efforts is crucial to achieving good mental health and personal growth. Focus on the process's final stage, make necessary changes, set achievable goals, and take care of yourself. You can achieve anything with time, dedication, and a positive attitude. Focusing on the final stage, which involves consistent maintenance, is crucial to achieving good mental health and personal growth. Remember, you'll get the same results if you repeatedly do the same things. You'll take charge, and it's a change!

Kind Regards

David, S, Pender

“I am not what happened to me” I am what I choose to become."

C G Jung