Grieving The Loss of a Loved One

Grieving The Loss of a Loved One

Grieving The Loss of a Loved One

Encountering sorrow isn't about managing your worries or emotions; it also involves changing how we view things, a journey we never anticipated embarking on. In times of loss or other significant events in life, like losing someone to us or any challenging circumstance that shakes our world's foundation, it's common for individuals to reevaluate their understanding of life and their role within it. When the world appears chaotic and full of uncertainties—how does this impact our feeling of command over our lives? Those we hold dear. 

Experiencing the loss of someone can profoundly change how you view life and make you face realities that you may have previously avoided acknowledging. Your journey shapes how you perceive the circumstances and handle grieving difficulties. This process is individual and distinctive, often revealing daily ups and downs. 

When people encounter situations such as a sudden job loss, a health scare, death or a relationship breakdown that causes anxiety and uncertainty, they might reflect on feeling frustrated by a lack of control or worried about losing it. They may even attribute these feelings to a perceived lack of effort in maintaining control. During these times, deciding to take control can feel empowering and be a positive step towards shaping the future. 

 When a person first feels powerless and exposed to vulnerability, it can feel overwhelming. The feeling of 'I won't let this happen again ' may prompt an attempt to regulate emotions and the environment to safeguard the welfare of those we cherish. However, the difficulty arises because some things are outside our influence. It proves intricate to strive to evade all circumstances ahead, enriching the intricacy of coping with loss. Working through those emotions you might be struggling with now is not just beneficial; it's empowering.

Some people may feel anxious when they think they don't have control over their environment or the ability to change their situations in life; this is called 'learned helplessness.' It's a psychological term that describes a belief that bad things happen regardless of our efforts or actions, leading us to stop trying to improve our situation or find solutions to our problems. It can be burdensome and can make individuals feel powerless. 

 If you cannot impact the world or those around you and giving up is not on the table, what comes next? I suggest adopting a strategy that recognises aspects outside your sphere of influence. This recognition can be liberating since it enables you to redirect your focus towards areas where you have an impact—providing you with a sense of agency in circumstances that might seem impossible. 

It's possible to shape your actions and thoughts when facing sadness, which may initially seem daunting. With determination and support from others, you can gradually shift your perspective and behaviours for the better. 

Here are a few things you could control. 

Your efforts in handling the situation.

If you always like to have everything in your grasp and expect everyone to adhere to your guidance entirely, consider trying to be more laid back and occasionally giving up some of that desire for control. It might not come quickly at the start, especially if you struggle to deal with uncertainties or embrace risks and are daunted by unpredictability and stress. When feeling overwhelmed by anxiety alone proves difficult to handle effectively, it's important to remember that seeking support from a counsellor who specialises in mental health is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards healing. 

Choosing the ways you cope with grief can really affect how you handle it. Some options include getting expert support, staying physically active, or practising mindfulness. It's important to find coping strategies that suit your style and bring you healing.

Participating in coping mechanisms often entails utilising solutions to evade emotions or situations that people commonly face. These could include overeating, excessive drinking, or avoiding social interactions. These brief distractions may provide relief but do not play a substantial role in true healing. Negative coping strategies can be compared to a band-aid for emotions. They temporarily alleviate the pain but fail to tackle the problem. Often, these behavioural patterns can heighten stress levels as they are unhealthy and require maintenance. 

It's important not to rely on coping mechanisms when dealing with grief but rather to explore strategies for coping and beliefs that support long-term healing. 

What are your thoughts on this matter?

 When we encounter situations that are out of our control and understanding, the one thing we can continuously regulate is our mindset and perspective towards life. Regardless of what life may strip from us, our thoughts and attitudes stay within our capacity to shape and decide. Additionally, we must figure out how to find meaning and importance in life after going through times or setbacks. Even though it might take some patience, remember that you'll eventually arrive at a moment of comprehension and insight and that there is always hope for a meaningful and fulfilling life after loss.

Your support system.

You might not always get to choose your family or friends; however, you can take control of enhancing and nurturing your support system. 

Make sure to utilise your network of friends and family, and keep in mind that everyone has unique strengths and areas for improvement. 

You can ask for help and be receptive to receiving support. 

"You can. Deal with manipulation among the people in your network of support."

Consider expanding your circle of support by exploring community resources and consulting with professionals specialising in health services. 

 

Your deep bond with your loved one.

Losing a loved one can be an experience that triggers feelings of grief rather than following a predetermined path towards acceptance or establishing a "new normal." When embarking on a journey after the loss, individuals tend to adjust and reshape their relationship with the departed individual gradually over time. This evolution allows for the preservation of a lasting connection with the individual in various ways as life progresses forward.  

During times of sadness and struggle, seeking solace in memories and thoughts of your dear ones can ease the pain in your heart. Despite their physical absence caused by death, they will always remain present in your heart and thoughts, a presence that cannot be erased by the passage of time. You can discover ways to find tranquillity according to your preferences. I am here to provide support and assistance.